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LOL! :)

Okay, I needed a good laugh today. I found some jokes online, and I'm going to share them with you. Actually, they are those "bulletin bloopers" from church bulletins--typos, etc. I've read a few of them before (and you probably have, too) but they still made me laugh. So, here you go:

  • Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  • Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals."
  • Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall - Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
  • Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
  • The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Next Thursday there will be try outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
  • The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: " Break Forth Into Joy."
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge ! - Up Yours!"
Okay, enough hilarity. I don't know why but some of those really tickle my funny bone. Lately it seems like I've been so serious and contemplative and doing all this soul-searching and journaling and working and examining my life...and I just needed a laugh. I love to laugh.

My family all loves to laugh, too. I like to think we all have a pretty good sense of humor the majority of the time. LOUD laughter is encouraged, which is nice. For some reason, I became self-conscious of my laugh in college. Or maybe it was high school. At any rate, I would do this thing where I'd cover my mouth to keep the guffaws in.

And then, I met Brianne. And Laura. And Brianne's roommate, Lindsey. Brianne--whom you will remember as a bestest friend o' mine--has a wonderful laugh. You could be anywhere in our cafeteria and know exactly where Brianne was sitting. Laura also has a powerful laugh. When the three of us got going...watch out! Or rather, cover your ears! And Lindsey taught me that it was okay to snort while you laughed. We referred to it as the "anoinking." (She was AG. Little church humor, there.)

Anyway, may you find something to make you laugh today (if the above typos didn't work). Take a deep breath, enjoy the sunshine when you find it, treat yourself to some daisies...and let yourself laugh out loud.

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be:

If you can read this, I can stop suddenly and sue you.

Buckle up - it makes it harder for aliens to suck you out of your car.

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

One more thing: I heard this joke tonight--from a Scottish professor at PTS.

An Irishman walked into pub, and ordered three pints of Guinness. The bartender watched in surprise as he drank all three by himself, all at once.
"You know, you don't have to order three at once," the bartender told him. "You can order them one at a time so they don't go flat."
"Oh, I know," the man assured him. "But you see, I have a brother in Australia, and a brother in America, and we always used to have a drink together. So I'm drinking these in honor of them."
The bartender was satisfied and said nothing more. But a few weeks later, he noticed the same man come in and order two pints of Guinness. "Oh, dear," he said to the man. "I'm terribly sorry. Did something happen to one of your brothers?"
"Oh, no," the man assured him cheerfully. "They're both fine. It's just that I've given up beer for Lent."

Apparently, I'm Teal.

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.
What Color Green Are You?

Is it weird that I actually feel like that kind of fits me???
Plus, I love teal.

What Jessica Means

What Jessica Means

J is for Joyous

E is for Enlightened

S is for Shocking

S is for Skillful

I is for Impressive

C is for Charming

A is for Adaptable


Let’s Hear it for Pain!

(Note: this blog is also featured on Hearitfirst.com this week.)


Raise your hand if that’s your first thought when things go wrong.

Didn’t think so.

You know all those verses in the bible that talk about rejoicing in the midst of trials? I’m terrible at that. In fact, when something goes wrong in my life, I’m rarely thinking, “What is God trying to teach me?” It’s usually something more like “God, why are you doing this to me? Why did you let this happen?”

It’s something I’m trying to work on.

A couple years back, I was having a miserable time in my life. Honestly, 2005 was one of the worst years I’ve ever had. My mom had cancer, my dad lost his job, we had to move out of the one house I’d ever gotten attached to, I had one of the worst jobs I’ve ever had, and my grandma died. It was really just a rotten year.

But, I survived it. And as things began to get better, I found myself thanking God for moving me out of that dark and dry time. I suppose that’s a better response than not thanking him, but it occurred to me that I could have had a much better attitude during the whole thing.

I’m not one of those people who thinks that being a Christian means putting on a smiley face no matter what’s going wrong in life. You know what I mean. There are people who will always say they are “Fine, thanks,” when you ask them how they are. Although, I admit, I don’t exactly like for people to see me crying, either. I say I believe in being authentic, but I don’t like to let everyone see that I’m hurting.

Yet the Psalms are full of laments. A lament is when you cry out to God in the midst of your troubles. And I was so relieved when I learned that being honest with God was okay. I pour my heart out to Him all the time—and I especially did that Awful Year. BUT I neglected something very important. A Psalm of Lament, no matter how bad the situation was, ends in praise. The Psalmist would break off from his pleading and moaning and end up steadfastly trusting in God’s ultimate goodness.

That’s the hardest part, at least for me. I have a hard time seeing past my circumstances, and trusting that God has something good for me. Oh, I believe it, deep down; but I don’t usually feel it.

The other day, I found out something that troubled my heart. It hurt—even though I truly know that it was good for me. It was not what I had in mind for me, but as I thought about the situation, I realized that it was a perfect opportunity for me to praise God, even when I didn’t feel like it. Understand, I wasn’t mad at God, or shaking a fist or anything; I just felt deeply disappointed. But, I praised Him anyway. And though I don’t actually feel a whole lot better today, I do have a peace about the situation.

It's one of those things where God is trying to teach me not only patience, but to be present. Remember in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, where, where Luke goes to see Yoda? And Yoda says about him, "A long time have I watched this one. All his life as he looked away...to the future, the horizon. Never his mind on where he was, what he was doing."

That's me. I don't know if it's because I have a good imagination, or because I love stories so much, but I have such an easy time picturing what I think God has in store for me. What I wish God had in store for me. And it's so easy for me to be focused on the things to come that I forget to pay attention to what I'm supposed to be doing now.

And when things are a little difficult, like now, it's even easier to wish away the hard circumstances. And that's exactly what God is trying to break me of.

It isn’t easy. But it is good, because God is Good. All the time, as my pastor says. All the time, God is good. Especially today.