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Several years ago, when I was in college (and I don't really feel like saying how long ago that was, as it is beginning to depress me a little) there was a popular book about relationships. (Actually, there were several, including I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Passion and Purity, and Lady in Waiting...good books, in their own way, I suppose, and though I have some on my shelf, I must admit I haven't been tempted to reread them in a good while.)

The book I'm talking about in particular here is called "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman (not to be confused with the former husband of Amy Grant). It proposed the idea that there are five basic ways in which we both give and receive love.
They are:

1) Acts of Service

2) Receiving Gifts

3) Physical Touch

4) Words of Affirmation
5) Quality Time.

The idea was that while you may be trying to show someone you care about them by getting them Gifts, but their love language was Acts of Service, your message was not as likely to be received.

After thinking about this for a while, I came to the conclusion that my Love Language was primarily Quality Time. Words of Affirmation is a big one, too, what with words meaning so much to me and all--but it's QT that really fuels me.

It's funny...because I think that includes quality Alone time, as well. But it extends to so many areas. Perhaps "quality" is a relative term; I know for me it includes good conversation. And laughter. Or even just sharing good stories (including movies, etc). Sometimes it's a three hour phone chat with a friend I haven't talked to in a while...sometimes it's watching reruns with my family...sometimes it's grabbing a coffee (or tea, in my case) with someone I'm just getting to know.

It's been years since I read that book, but for some reason the idea has come back to me. I think it's always good to look around you at the important people in your life and think about what their LL might be, so that you can love them better.

So what about you? What do you think your Love Language is? Let me know! I really am curious.


The Trouble With Love Is...

...it makes you do crazy things. Stupid things. Painful things.

Well, another S.A.D. has come and gone. Things didn't quite work out according to plan...we had a really bad snow/ice storm here that lasted through Tuesday and Wednesday. The roads were pretty bad; I called Laser Storm and they told me they were closing early. *frowny-face*

SO Kyle and I had some quick thinking to do. Luckily we were both home because of the bad roads. We put our heads together and decided to try to make the inclement weather work for us. Instead of Laser Tag, we invited people to go sledding and have a snowball fight. The snowball fight (my idea) didn't happen--it wasn't really the right kind of snow. But we did try sledding (Kyle's idea). By 'we,' I mean three other people besides my brother and I. (Hey, the roads were terrible!)

So the five us went to my dad's church (where I also work at the Pregnancy Care Centers; our tiny Admin Office is located there) and proceeded to sled down the hill. Now, I haven't been sledding in years. Decades, probably. And literally. But I had fun (I was freezing, because I have no winter gear).

One of our crew(*ahem! James! ahem!*) is slightly more serious about sledding than the rest of us; he brought his own sled and (if you can picture this) used it rather like a snowboard. OF COURSE the other guys had to try it that way. Standing up, holding on to the little string loop that served as the 'reins'...yeah. Brilliant. Only a guy would have thought of such a thing.

Here's where I got stupid: I thought it looked like fun. And what can I say? I've been up for adventure lately. Somehow my new creedo in life has become to not let fear hold me back (recent involvements with needles to adorn my body might ring a bell). So why shouldn't I try it? So I might fall. Big deal. Well, I did fall, several times. Most of my falls were soon enough that it was not a big deal. I was even given a lesson on the proper technique. I was determined to get to the bottom of the hill! But when I actually did, when I stopped being afraid of falling, I crashed. OUCH!!

I've been laughing at myself all day. I actually don't regret trying it, even though I'm still sore, and my leg still does hurt. I think I'll be fine in a couple of days. I mean, in one sense, you could argue that I was crazy for trying it, and you'd be right. But it was fun (up until the pain), and I am kind of proud of myself for at least trying. I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I guess I'm blaming the Day of Love, and my new-found Love of Adventure, among other things.

After all, we're all gonna die (sooner or later); and not everyone really lives.


Love...and Hate

Well, it's February.
You know what that means.

Two weeks to S. A. D. *sigh.*

I don't know how to feel about Valentine's Day. You know?

On one hand, I hate it. It's just a reminder of my "single" status. It's a commercial holiday centered around mush that raises unrealistic expectations of what relationships are supposed to be like: dozens of roses, expensive jewelry, dinners in classy restaurants....And all of it is surrounded by pink frills and babies with wings and arrows. It's syrupy and disgusting.

On the other hand, I am kind of a sucker for romance. I am by my own admission, a sap. There's something sweet about the celebration of love. And, this might come as a shock, but I actually love pink. I love hearts, too. And flowers. And chocolate.

Who am I kidding? The only Real reason I hate V-Day is because I am single and can't participate.

This year, I am taking matters into my own hands. I am planning an alternative to Valentine's Day. An "alterna-tine," if you will. I just thought of it last night, so it's in the works, but I hope that it will be fun. I hope to invite other singles for an evening devoid of romance, starting with laser tag. Nothing says "I don't care" like laser guns.

Whatever happens, I hope to have a happy Valentine's Day. Because it's just a day, just another day. Why should it matter if I have any romance on that day? February 14th really isn't any different from February 13th or 15th.

But whatever your plans are, I hope you enjoy your whole month. After all, in two weeks, the pink hearts will be replaced by green clovers. :)