J. M. Richards' items Go to J. M. Richards' photostream


LOL! :)

Okay, I needed a good laugh today. I found some jokes online, and I'm going to share them with you. Actually, they are those "bulletin bloopers" from church bulletins--typos, etc. I've read a few of them before (and you probably have, too) but they still made me laugh. So, here you go:

  • Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  • Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals."
  • Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall - Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
  • Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
  • The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Next Thursday there will be try outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
  • The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: " Break Forth Into Joy."
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge ! - Up Yours!"
Okay, enough hilarity. I don't know why but some of those really tickle my funny bone. Lately it seems like I've been so serious and contemplative and doing all this soul-searching and journaling and working and examining my life...and I just needed a laugh. I love to laugh.

My family all loves to laugh, too. I like to think we all have a pretty good sense of humor the majority of the time. LOUD laughter is encouraged, which is nice. For some reason, I became self-conscious of my laugh in college. Or maybe it was high school. At any rate, I would do this thing where I'd cover my mouth to keep the guffaws in.

And then, I met Brianne. And Laura. And Brianne's roommate, Lindsey. Brianne--whom you will remember as a bestest friend o' mine--has a wonderful laugh. You could be anywhere in our cafeteria and know exactly where Brianne was sitting. Laura also has a powerful laugh. When the three of us got going...watch out! Or rather, cover your ears! And Lindsey taught me that it was okay to snort while you laughed. We referred to it as the "anoinking." (She was AG. Little church humor, there.)

Anyway, may you find something to make you laugh today (if the above typos didn't work). Take a deep breath, enjoy the sunshine when you find it, treat yourself to some daisies...and let yourself laugh out loud.

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be:

If you can read this, I can stop suddenly and sue you.

Buckle up - it makes it harder for aliens to suck you out of your car.

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

One more thing: I heard this joke tonight--from a Scottish professor at PTS.

An Irishman walked into pub, and ordered three pints of Guinness. The bartender watched in surprise as he drank all three by himself, all at once.
"You know, you don't have to order three at once," the bartender told him. "You can order them one at a time so they don't go flat."
"Oh, I know," the man assured him. "But you see, I have a brother in Australia, and a brother in America, and we always used to have a drink together. So I'm drinking these in honor of them."
The bartender was satisfied and said nothing more. But a few weeks later, he noticed the same man come in and order two pints of Guinness. "Oh, dear," he said to the man. "I'm terribly sorry. Did something happen to one of your brothers?"
"Oh, no," the man assured him cheerfully. "They're both fine. It's just that I've given up beer for Lent."


Carol said...

Okay, I was rolling with laughter. I needed that!!!! Thanks!!

cynthia said...

I think the last church blooper is my fave. My church is doing a campaign this year called Live the Vision. I came up with the title last year. I'm glad I'm not the one who came up with "Up Yours!"

Anonymous said...

If you'd been sucked out of your car by Aliens (like I have)- you wouldn't think that was funny at ALL!

You'd better watch out - "They" love bloggers.

J. M. Richards said...

I'm not too worried. I always buckle up. ;)