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8.28.2005

Singleness

This morning I went to church with my parents. Usually I go on Saturday nights, to Community Worship at Memorial Park. But my dad recently got a job at North park Church, and they wanted to introduce him to the congregation. And he wanted the family to be there. No problem. My brother Kyle and I showed up (thankfully) right on time and took a seat. I was looking kinda cute—at least, I was wearing a blouse, skirt and heels, which is a bit of a stretch for a jeans-and-tee girl like me.

So they go through the announcements and a testimony and a couple of songs and finally ask my parents to go to the front. My dad says he was nervous, but it didn’t show. He was cracking jokes and keeping everyone’s attention. And then he decided to introduce us, his “adult children.” Kyle and I politely stood to say hi to everyone. And then he said it: “And they’re both single.” I sat down immediately. The congregation erupted into laughter.

It’s not that I minded or that I was even mad; it’s more of the label that bothers me. “Single.” Alone. Unpaired. Yeah, okay, so I’m single. Really single.

And if you know me, or if you have read my profile, you know that I’m twenty-six. Twenty-six and single. Is that as depressing as it sounds? I have other friends from college in the same boat. Even a couple that are still living at home, like me. (If you read my earlier posts about jobs it should be abundantly clear that I do not make enough to afford rent and other utilities.)

Most of the time I don’t mind being single. I’ve lived with it for a long time. I like my independence. But I happen to be an incurable romantic. If you look at my favorite movies list, you’ll see a few chick flicks in there. I have more. I am a SAP. When I watch movie and TV shows, I hope that the main characters fall in love and find happiness by then end. I’m a “shipper:” I root for certain couples to get and/or stay together. (Sidebar: some of my favorites include: Sydney and Vaughn from Alias; Bright and Hannah from Everwood; Sun and Jin from Lost; Harry and Ginny, and Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter; and Han and Leia from Star Wars.)

The Point: My Independence and my Hopeless Romantic-ness are quite often at odd with each other. Yes, I’d like to find someone and settle down. Yes, I’d like to get married and have a few kids someday. But I’m afraid I have too many unrealistic expectations planted in my head by my favorite sappy movies. I’m also afraid that some of the standards and things I’m looking for in a guy just aren’t ever going to come together. Deep down I think I do believe that there is a guy out there suited for me just as I am for him, whether or not he happens to be a Scottish, guitar-playing, intellectual, funny, adventurous Christian man. But some days it just seems like I’ll be stuck being labeled “single” forever. It wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen to me, but it’s not what I’m hoping for.

But don’t you dare recommend E-harmony to me. 

5 comments:

Brianne said...

You're not going to be single forever. And if you don't end up with a Scottish man, maybe he'll at least be able to do a convincing Scottish accent when the situation calls for it. You're the coolest, and all the nice things I said about you on my site are TRUE!

J. M. Richards said...

All I have to say to that is :) (but imagine it's an extra-big grin)

TR said...

You couldn't mention that I took you and your brother out to eat to pay for my slip of the tongue? And that we enjoyed delicious Italian cuisine? If you meet someone someday from this church who remembers seeing you for the first time that day when I embarrassed you it will all be worth it. We could make a movie about it and call it “Oh yeah, they’re single!”

Brianne said...

Actually, this could work to your advantage, Jess. Because there could have been some amazing, Scottish-speaking (or impersonating) man out there who was trying to see if you were wearing a wedding ring and your dad did this Scotophile's work for him. Like the Pythons say, "Always look on the bright side of life!"

But sorry, TR, you would have had to take me out to eat, too, if you had embarrassed me like that in front of hundreds of people.

(In case you can't tell, I'm trying to be diplomatic here.)

claud said...

hehe, true love cannot be rushed.
may God bless you with the guy of your dreams!!