www.flickr.com
J. M. Richards' items Go to J. M. Richards' photostream

2.23.2007

QT

Several years ago, when I was in college (and I don't really feel like saying how long ago that was, as it is beginning to depress me a little) there was a popular book about relationships. (Actually, there were several, including I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Passion and Purity, and Lady in Waiting...good books, in their own way, I suppose, and though I have some on my shelf, I must admit I haven't been tempted to reread them in a good while.)

The book I'm talking about in particular here is called "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman (not to be confused with the former husband of Amy Grant). It proposed the idea that there are five basic ways in which we both give and receive love.
They are:

1) Acts of Service

2) Receiving Gifts

3) Physical Touch

4) Words of Affirmation
and
5) Quality Time.

The idea was that while you may be trying to show someone you care about them by getting them Gifts, but their love language was Acts of Service, your message was not as likely to be received.

After thinking about this for a while, I came to the conclusion that my Love Language was primarily Quality Time. Words of Affirmation is a big one, too, what with words meaning so much to me and all--but it's QT that really fuels me.

It's funny...because I think that includes quality Alone time, as well. But it extends to so many areas. Perhaps "quality" is a relative term; I know for me it includes good conversation. And laughter. Or even just sharing good stories (including movies, etc). Sometimes it's a three hour phone chat with a friend I haven't talked to in a while...sometimes it's watching reruns with my family...sometimes it's grabbing a coffee (or tea, in my case) with someone I'm just getting to know.

It's been years since I read that book, but for some reason the idea has come back to me. I think it's always good to look around you at the important people in your life and think about what their LL might be, so that you can love them better.

So what about you? What do you think your Love Language is? Let me know! I really am curious.

2 comments:

mia said...

Mine are Quality time and acts of service. Words of affirmation, physical touch and gifts are not really big for me, although I like to buy gifts for people but I realized that it was more the time and thought put into the gift than the actual gift itself, so it's really more of acts of service thing. You would think words of affirmation would influence me more since I'm pretty wordy too :0) but it just doesn't. Ben can't figure out what his are, which doesn't help me any...

Brianne said...

I'm primarily quality time, but I also am a touch girl. But when it comes to kids, I know that I give them words of encouragement well. So. Do you think I could have more than one? I'm bi-lingual! At least when it comes to *love.*