The Mighty Checklist

So, thanksgiving has come and gone. Mine was good; I hope yours was, too.

I've noticed, though, how quickly I jump ahead to the next event in my life. Well, let's see: of course, there's Christmas approaching all-too-rapidly, and a couple of services I'm putting together before that. Not to mention that Thanksgiving day was also my half birthday...meaning I have just under six months now before I turn the big 3-0.

"Well, geez, before I turn thirty, I really ought to ____!"

I thought it would be fun to create a list of 30 things to do before I turn 30, and 30 things to do once I turn 30, you know, to sort of take the sting out of it. But now I'm finding that it just feels like a lot of pressure. First I have to come up with thirty things. Than I have to do them! Along with everything else in my life, which already sort of feels like a giant checklist.

And how did that happen? I used to see life as a journey, an adventure. Now it's a list?!? That's no fun. And worse, it's not true. Life is about more than getting things done--and Christians should know that most of all.

Sometimes things don't happen on our own time. Some of the things I'd be tempted to put on my "before 30" list are things that...for some reason, God hasn't allowed to happen to me yet. And the weird thing is, most of the time, I'm okay with it! It's only when I think about how a new year is fast approaching that I get antsy. feel like I'm on a deadline, at least in the eyes of the world.

Don't get me wrong. There are some things I thought of that I do have some control over, that if I'm not careful, I'll wake up one day and be 80 and still saying, "I always wanted to ____." And what better time to do that then NOW? But if I'm not careful, I let it spill over into other areas of my life, which I don't ultimately control. And then I just end up feeling resentful that certain areas of my life are not where I thought I'd be at thirty. When most of the time, it doesn't bother me.

Life is not about a checklist. Checklists won't save me. Life IS a journey. It's about our relationships and the choices we make.

I recently picked up "Mere Christianity" by C. S. Lewis again--just randomly glanced though it. (I love that book, and I just love the way he writes. For me, it's like sitting down with a dear old friend who is sensible and comfortable and brilliant. And just listening. Over tea--or perhaps a pint.) He talks about how Christianity is not meant to just make us nicer people but that it is a transformation, not of our own doing, into Christ. And that our choices either bring us closer or take us farther away from that completion.

I would dearly love to hold onto this perspective shift, to stop looking at life as a giant checklist that needs to be conquered. O, Lord, help me hold on--help me remember that it is about so much more. Just as you've faithfully reminded me this time. Life is about living abundantly, abiding in Christ. And when I remember that, I don't worry so much bout deadlines.

Seattle

I know. It's about time. I've been sooo sick of seeing my whiny post every time I logged onto the internet--which, granted, wasn't that often, and never for very long. Obviously my life didn't automatically calm down just because I went from three jobs to two...

By the way, I am enjoying my new job, and for those who were wondering, I don't miss my old one. If that sounds horrible, then I apologize. I didn't mean for it to. I'm simply being matter-of-fact.

But at the present, I am on vacation. *Sigh of contentment*
It's the holidays, and I am spending it with family. My parents and I flew to Washington state for Thanksgiving to be with my aunt and her kids (she has six, three of which are still at home and four of whom are younger than me). And I'm so glad to be here. We used to live out here, a couple hours away, actually, and for a time the whole horde of us lived in one house (and shared one bathroom!!).

Earlier this week we went down to Pike Place Market, you know, the big shopping area in downtown Seattle, where they sell the fish? It was in the movie Sleepless in Seattle. Then today we went to the dinky town we used to live in, where I spent my senior year. It was interesting seeing how the town had changed...and hearing how the people I used to know had changed, too. It doesn't sound like it was all that long ago when you put it in years, but it feels like a very long time ago. In fact, I was just telling one of my cousins last night that if the Teenage Me met the Me Today, we might not get along too well. And I've been thinking about why I've changed in the ways that I have. All in all, it's been educational. Probably all this introspective stuff will come out in greater detail in one of my books someday, so I won't spoil it for you now.

Till next time, when I will probably talk (read: complain) about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, have a Happy Thanksgiving!!