A Psalm of Life

So, Wendy tells me that April is National Poetry Month. Since I have little to blog about, aside from Lost, I will steal/copy/borrow/recycle an idea from Wendy's blog and share with you my favorite poem.

I found it in a High School English book from 1901 (seriously!) and just fell in love with it. It speaks to many of my favorite themes. I've tried to memorize it, but I always seem to forget a stanza. The last three were quoted by the minister at my Grandma Jean's memorial service.

A Psalm of Life, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tell me not in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today.

Art is long and Time is fleeting,
And out hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act--act in the living Present!
Heart within and God o'rehead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime
And departing, leave behind us
Footprints in the sands of time;--

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

What's up with that?

I'm spending a lot of time in fictional worlds, lately.

One is an island--hard to get to, hard to leave.

Another is a rainy town in Washington where Monsters live.

The last is one of my own making--and it's familiar enough, though it's inhabitants exist only in my head.


What is it about Story that sucks me in? It's hard for me to explain. And while I love, LOVE analyzing stories and pulling them to bits with friends, sometimes it's hard for me to express all that rushes through my brain.

I succumbed to peer pressure (well, really friendly recommendations) and started the Twilight series. Several friends (whose other literary interests often coincide with my own) told me I should read them. I resisted for a long time, held back by the hordes of teenaged girls who worship the series and its vampiric hero. Also, I don't like vampires. Never have. Likely never will.

I'm nearly done with the second book now...and I'm sort of starting to see why they are so popular. They are entertaining and well written. I keep going, page after page, even though I think most of the characters are kind of ridiculous. It annoys me that I would keep reading a book in which I don't care about most of the characters. Hopefully they will grow and develop some.

The narrator, Bella, is absurd and naive. A typical teenager? Maybe. I hope not. Edward, the guy she falls for (along with half the teenage girls in the country) is not only a vampire, he's practically perfect. Or at least, a representation of perfection. I find him mostly annoying. I think their interest in each other is shallow, even though it's meant to be deep and profound.

It might not bug me so much if I wasn't working on a story of my own with similar-ish themes. (No vampires. I prefer superheroes.) But I don't want it to be all tingles and meaningful gazes. I've been wrestling with this a lot lately. I feel like I'm straddling a fence here--both enjoying the story, and yet, being frusterated by it so far. Wanting my own writing to be both appealing, but deep. (Is that even possible??)

Anyway. I just had to vent a little. It's not like I picked them up because I thought I'd enjoy them. I wanted to know what everyone was talking about, and I wanted to check out the "competition." So to speak.

But I find that I have very little patience with fictional characters. It's easier. I don't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings or asking forgiveness. I can just fume and be annoyed by someone who isn't real, while acting that way in real life makes things really complicated.

I wonder, though: am I spending too much time analyzing fictional characters and their stories that I'm neglecting my own? I hope not. My own life is rather complicated at the moment, so escapisim isn't an unnatural reaction. And I want to work on my own writing. It's easy to lose myself in a story of my own making, to plumb the depths of characters I created and am still getting to know.

And the big question on my mind is, "What will people say about my writing?" --That is, if it's ever made available to the greater public. But shouldn't the bigger question be, "What will people say about my life?"

Writing is only one part of my life--granted, it feels like an important part at the moment. But there are other things I want, too: a simple, healthy, natural, debt-free life. I'm trying to work on all those things, too. But a lot of that can't be scripted, no matter how much I would like it to be.

A life like that flows out of big and small moments alike and is shaped by every choice I make. I don't want to be Bella, centering my whole life around one desire (in her case, to be with Edward!) unless that desire is from God, and for God. But the moments slip away, and sometimes I can't see where my own story will end up. Most of the time, I can't even see the next paragraph, let alone chapter.

This is kind of a weird, long, random post, and for that I apologize. Perhaps next time I won't be so scattered.

Updates, Theories, and a Challenge

So! I've been bad about blogging. I would like to blame it on twitter, which I just signed up for...but I just signed up for it Tuesday. Twitter is one of those geek chic sites all about "letting people know" what's "going on." Kind of like your facebook or myspace status. As if anyone cares! But I do...and now I can check from my phone.

Yes, I'm a geek. Been wallowing in geekiness this week, with Twitter...and Lost.

Years ago, I used to talk about Lost a lot. In the first season, I was ALL OVER the message boards. I'd never been so wrapped up in a show before (except possibly MacGyver). You never knew what was going to happen week to week. Each episode was a constant surprise. Polar bears? A fugitive? Sun speaks english? That first season was amazing, and I put a lot of mental energy into trying to figure things out.

As the show went on, though, it wasn't always so action and question packed. I stopped looking up theories and spoilers. I began to get wrapped up in other shows, too--but I stuck it out with Lost. This season it's paying off. So much crazy stuff is going on! I mean, crazy, time-traveling stuff. It's awesome.

I started looking up theories again. Went to Lostpedia.com to try to make sense of the giant statue in last week's ep, and subsequently went crazy when I saw all the Egyptian symbols and connections. I've since been thinking about Lost almost constantly. I wish I could say I have a theory of my own...but I haven't fleshed anything out yet. My friend Sara thinks the island is Eden. Someone on abc.com posted a theory about it being an alien vessel. I had a thought about it being Atlantis.

All I really have figured out is that there are two opposing forces at work on the island. I'm not even sure who is on what side, or what either side wants. But there have been too many inconsitant messages through out the series--a recent example: Kate, in the present and off the island, gets a phone call in the middle of the night. She hears a garbled message--that when played back, said something like, "You need to go back."
Then she hears a noise in Aaron's room, grabs a gun, and opens the door to see Claire, saying "Don't you DARE bring him back!" And she wakes up. Two very opposite messages.

At the begining of the show, Locke talked a bit about dark and light and "sides." Since Ben's appearance, the idea of sides hasn't gone away, just gotten fuzzy. He's so slippery and keeps flipping things, insisting he's the good guy, all while manipulating everyone to get his way. Lately, he's pitted himself agains Widmore, and they're both claiming to have the island's best interests at heart. Who knows, really? I don't like either one! Anyway, that's all I have. I'm still formulating. I think it would help if I knew a little bit more about Jacob and Richard.

If you have theories, PLEASE feel free to share them here. Once upon a time, Brianne & I had a whole blog dedicated just to Lost, but I deleted it. She didn't watch as much, and I didn't have a lot to say about it. But now I'm really anxious to start talking about it again!!

One last thing, completely unrelated: My friend Wendy, who is very craft-y, posted the following challenge on facebook. I decided to take her up on it, so I'm doing my part by reposting. See what you think!

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!
My choice. For you.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

• - What I create will be just for you.
• - I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
• - You will receive your item before the end of the year (or sooner).
• - You will have no clue what the item is going to be. It could be a story or a cd. It could be a piece of handmade jewelry or potholder. I may draw, paint, collage or knit something. I might bake you something and mail it to you. I may grow you a plant. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
• - I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that in order to receive a gift, you have to repost this and make and send out five surprises of your own, so if you aren't gonna follow through and make something for five others, you get nothing from me.

Sounds fun, huh? Let me know if you're interested.

Peace, love, and LOST.

Year in Review.

I stole this survey off of someone else's blog, because I couldn't come up with anything creative and contemplative on my own.


1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Traveled overseas. Got a passport, had an international flight, went through customs.
Drove into Pittsburgh by myself. Drove to Missouri and back, the whole way!!


2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Um...not as well as I would have liked. I am making some resolutions, because hope springs eternal. And also because I'm making new "decade" resolutions.

And because some things just have to change!!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Well, I know a few people who had babies. Nobody that I'm super (at least in terms of physical proximity) close with, though.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
IRELAND!!! It was awesome.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
I would love to know what I'm doing with my life, but I doubt that will happen.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
From '07?? Well, probably some boy related ones that seemed momentous at the time but are now irrelevant...and Jan. 2nd, when Brianne got her tat and I got my nose pierced. That was a good day in 2007.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Geez. This is tough. I mean, I think just going to Ireland was the biggest deal. I finally did it. That was a lifelong dream, to get over to that part of the world.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Sometimes the way things ended with CW feels like I failed. Or maybe just how I handled it.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just the usual colds I always get.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My camera. They say material things can't bring you happiness, but it has brought me such simple joy.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
We threw Jake a going away party...but that wasn't really a celebration. We still miss him.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
It was hard watching my brother's relationship go sour. (Sometimes it was hard to watch when it was good, too; but it sucks watching someone you love go through a bad break-up.)

14. Where did most of your money go?
Stuff I didn't need at Target, probably. And Mp3 downloads.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Ireland. Going to see Brianne. Prince Caspian. My new phone. Spring.


16. What songs will always remind you of 2008?
Pocketful of Sunshine. "This is Home," by Switchfoot. "The Call," by Regina Spektor.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? About even, I think.
b) thinner or fatter? I've probably put on a few this year.
c) richer or poorer? Slightly poorer, since my job change.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Writing. Job hunting, maybe. Yoga.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying. Stressing. Complaining.

20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
Hopefully going downtown for First Night with friends.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No. Fell out of love, actually. But it's a good thing.
Well, unless you count my mad crush on Zachary Levi of "Chuck."

22. How many one-night stands?
None. I could have changed that to "dates" and the answer would still be the same.

23. What was your favourite TV program?
Chuck. Eli Stone. Heroes. Lost. Bones. Pushing Daisies. Monk. Psych. Samantha Who?

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Well, it's more that an already strong disliking intensified.

25.What was the best book you read?
"Culture Making" by Andy Crouch, or "The Celtic Way of Evangelism" by George G. Hunter. Both AMAZING books. I'd put "Walking With God" by John Eldredge, but I'm not quite finished with it yet.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I discovered that I love Coldplay. I know, they're popular and ubiquitous. Like U2. I never thought I liked them much, either. But I do, now. It's weird.

27. What did you want and get?
A camera. My new phone.

28. What did you want and not get?
A new job--something that I'm MEANT to do, you know? Some purpose and direction.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Ooh. Well, the sad thing is, I haven't seen a movie since July ( I know, right?!). Ironman was good, so was Get Smart. I really liked Prince Caspian, despite plot changes. HATED The Happening, but Kung Fu Panda was cute. I adored Wall-E.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Hmm...I believe I went to Seib's with friends. Yes. Several birthday drinks were consumed. Well you only turn 29 once. Or, once a year from now on.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A sense of where I'm going and what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. That would have been helpful.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Scarves. Ballet flats.

33. What kept you sane?
My friends. You know who you are. My head would have exploded without you.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I think I answered that already, but I'll gladly say it again: Zachary Levi. Mmm.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Ugh. Don't get me started. I tried to avoid everything remotely political.

36. Who did you miss?
Brianne.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I met some cool folks in Ireland.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?
Community. Fellowship. Vital to survival.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"It started out as feeling, which then grew into a hope.
Which then turned into a quiet thought, which then turned into a quiet word.
And then that word grew louder and louder, until it was a battle cry!
I'll come back, when you call me, no need to say goodbye."
--Regina Spektor, "The Call" (From the Prince Caspian Soundtrack)

I used this already this year, but:
"I still haven't found what I'm looking for." --U2

Sofa, So Good

Well, I’m all moved into my new digs. My pad. My flat. It’s great.

I don’t know if I mentioned it earlier, but there is a wall dividing my bedroom and my living room that is one big bookshelf. I love it. I love sitting on my bed and looking at all my books. (I have a lot of books. They took a while to pack and unpack, but they’re in now.)

Another perk is that I have my own bathroom. This is pretty significant. I have never ever had a bathroom all to myself before, and I have to say, it’s quite a pleasure. In fact, the only noticeable downside is that I don’t have anyone to blame the dirtiness on. It’s all me.

But the most amazing things about my apartment have nothing to do with the architecture or the things I brought with me. It’s the things that were given to me. Let me make this clear: I have a lot of stuff. But I didn’t have quite enough furniture to fill up an apartment. I didn’t have, say, a couch. Or a table for my kitchen. (Or hardly anything for my kitchen.)

Needless to say, I don’t have lots of extra moola lying around with which to buy said furniture. Which is why I feel so incredibly blessed right now. God provided for me. (Via my friend and coworker Mindy, who knows everything.) He provided people who were giving away furniture—for free. I received not one, but two couches for my living room. (They’re both sofa beds, to boot!) AND I got a table and chairs for my kitchen.

Let me explain my kitchen to you. It’s small. Very small. Which is fine, for just me. But I needed a fairly small table. I had already decided on the “theme” for my kitchen. (I like decorating in themes.) Then I heard about the table. “It’s a rounded square,” she told me. “It’s got a glass top. And the rest of it,” she said, “is bamboo.”

The theme for my kitchen? “LOST.” Jungles. Islands. Yeah. It totally works. It's perfect, actually.

Yep, God is pretty awesome. Couches, a table, a ricemaker, pots and pans, a reading chair, a lamp...I have no problem with second-hand stuff. And God knows that. (Now I just have to start saving up for my own computer, so I don’t have to wait for my turn….)

Come by and see me sometime…you can sleep on my sofa!

Oh, Shoot. I Should Blog.

Wow. Yes, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, shame on me. What on earth have I been doing?

Well, since you asked:

• re-watching season one of LOST
• emptying baby bottles full of money at the Pregnancy Care Centers
• working on my third revision of “The Jagged Edge of Lightning”
• leading worship (sometimes singing by myself, gulp!) at Community Worship
• working on making a quiz about LOST
• watching movies, both at home and in theaters
• admiring my tattoo

Yep. I’ve been busy.

I have seen a couple of good movies lately—Walk the Line was pretty good, though hard to watch at some points because he just wrecks his life for a while. Still—Joaquin and Reese did great jobs, both singing and acting. The Lake House was very good. I love Sandra Bullock, and I hope I don’t jinx anything by saying she’s one of the few actresses I unabashedly admire. (Now watch, she’s going to be saying in her next interview that she’s joined Scientology with Tom Cruise.) Well, anyway, the movie was good and I recommend it—if you like that kind of romantic movie type thing.

I’ve also been working on my DVD collection…I made a list of all the movies I own and all the ones I still want to get, and it was rather frightening. I already have close to a hundred movies. And the sad fact is, a vast majority of them are either romance-based or family fluff. However, that is not entirely my fault; in my house, my brother buys all the action/adventure/blow-em-up movies, so I don’t have to. Though I did buy Spider-man 2 and Batman Begins.

Speaking of superheroes, tonight we’re supposed to go see Superman Returns. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it will be good. You know how lame DC can be…okay, that was mean. What I meant was, some of the earlier Superman movies were kind of cheesy. So, we’ll see. If it’s good, maybe I’ll dedicate my next post to it. Or maybe just to superheroes in general. You know I loves my heroes!

Steeler Nation

Well, tonight marks a milestone in my life: for the first time ever in my 26 years, I actually sat down and watched the Super Bowl—first to fourth quarter.

I am admittedly not the biggest football fan, despite my dad’s attempts at indoctrination. But here I am in Pittsburgh, where I have lived the last almost four years. I’ve lived all over the country, and I have never, ever lived anywhere that went so nuts for a football team. It’s quite infectious. Pittsburgh loves the Steelers. And it’s easy to see why: the guys—quite aside from their athletic prowess—are great guys.

I have said many times in my life that I can’t get into sports games, unless I have some kind of emotional connection to the players. Well, it finally happened in a national game, which I never thought it would. And usually, I go for the underdog. I also usually go against the tide. But…we really do have some great guys out here. I personally voted for Hines Ward for MVP on superbowl.com during the fourth quarter. And can you believe that Ben Roethlisberger is only 23???

I even donned black and gold for the occasion. You really can’t get by in Pittsburgh if you don’t; even in church this morning my mom said people were wearing jerseys. I’m telling you, it’s insane out here. Black and gold has been everywhere for the last two weeks, and every other marquis down the road had a “Go Steelers” or “one for the thumb” message. (Btw, in case you’re as uninformed as I am, that means because they won their fifth championship game, they got a fifth ring—for the thumb.)

Just one more thought: they always say that one of the best parts of the SuperBowl is the commercials. Of course there was the really fun "Addicted to Lost" commerial, but did anyone notice the MacGyver MasterCard commercial? I was like, *insert surprised noise here*? I had to rewatch it. Go, Mac! Still so cool. (But getting old. :( That was why I didn’t quite recognize him at first.) Thank you, MasterCard, for recognizing the greatness of a true TV hero.

And thank you, Steelers, for bringing home the trophy for all your fans. Pittsburgh is now officially Steeler Nation.

Lostaholics Anyone?

SO…Brianne and I finally did it: we joined forces to make a blog all about Lost.
There has never been a show that needed so much discussion and analyzation. (At least that I’ve watched.) We already talk about it all the time; we felt that a blog would be a good forum to continue the discussion. Please feel free to join in! 

LOST

LOOOSSSSTTT. You have to say it in a dragged-out half-sigh, it is that good. Lahhsst.

I’ve been threatening to write a tribute post about my favorite show, and now I’m doing it. Actually, this will probably end up being more like "LOST, Part 1".... I watched the season premiere the other night…WOW. It’s like, it went away for the summer, and I actually started to forget how completely and utterly addicting it is.

This reaction, I think, alarms some people. Even my family, who all enjoy the show as well. I admit I am perhaps more than a trifle obsessed. I look for clues and hints in everything. But as with all my real “obsessions” there is a good reason for it. I don’t like LOST just because the acting is fabulous, it’s brilliantly written, and the story keeps you desperate for more. It goes deeper than that, I assure you. But I’m warning you, if you want to know, and you continue reading, you are venturing into deep waters. Most people don’t go as deep as I do. But…it’s what I do.

Speaking of that—how I look for meaning in things—I got into an argument with this guy on my art site about this very topic. He was going off about how art doesn’t have meaning, it’s just a display of talent and beauty and stuff like that. He was so arrogant that it really peeved me off. I don’t care if you don’t agree with me, but he had that “well I’m right” attitude. Well, no, he wasn’t. Art in all forms can have meaning. Key word: can. Does all art have a deeper meaning? No, probably not. But sometimes that’s in the eye of the beholder. He even went as far as to say that he just dislikes people who look for deeper meanings. This shouldn’t bug me, because I really couldn't care less whether he like me or not. But on some level, it does irritate me. I’ve just come to realize in the past couple of years that “looking for the deeper meaning” is something I do. Of course that’s going to come under attack, because the deeper meaning I find usually points to God. That’s why I do it. I don’t try to make things fit a theology; I find parallels and illustrations of how life is for us—not unlike how Jesus used parables to teach his followers.

In LOST, it’s been a little harder to find clear cut parallels. In one sense, it’s obvious. We are survivors of a devastating wreck (the Fall) and we are in a hostile and mysterious place that is out of our control. But it’s a little hard to go too far with this line of thinking because we (the viewers) don’t know everything that’s going on yet.

One of my favorite episodes, “White Rabbit,” is about Jack, the reluctant doctor hero and unofficial leader on the island. He has issues with his dad, and in this episode we get flashbacks that show us a little bit of why. The whole plot sounded to me like it had been ripped from the pages of John Eldredge’s “Wild at Heart.” Young Jack receives his “father wound” after getting beat up trying to help a friend and his father says “You don’t have what it takes.” Years later, after the crash, everyone is looking to him for direction and guidance and he shrinks back. Why? “I don’t have what it takes,” he tells another castaway, Locke. Locke tells him to finish his journey, his search, because “A leader can’t lead until he knows where he’s going.”

With the character of John Locke, there is the potential for a lot of parallels, but I’m just not sure what they’re going to do with him yet. Most people find him creepy, though he is oddly enough my favorite character. He begins a sort of island-worship, treating the place as though it has the power to give and take away. He would know: it gave him back the use of his legs after being in a wheelchair for four years. But whether or not his “island-worship” is a good or bad thing (much debated by fans), everyone on the island is worshipping or trusting something. Jack, the afore-mentioned hero, worships science and logic—a very culturally approved religion, especially for doctors. Most of the other characters rely on themselves so much it could be a form of religion. Others rely on another person so wholly that it ought to be considered worship. This is not so different from us: we all have things we turn to instead of God to see us through—including ourselves and those we love.

Then there is the whole theme of redemption. Essentially everyone is given a clean slate. They all have trouble making use of it and all fall back into old patterns. Kate keeps lying, trying to hide her past, Sawyer keeps conning, Shannon keeps on manipulating the men around her, Hurley begins to sound like an acquaintance from his stay at a mental institution, Charlie looks like he might go back to drugs, even Locke has strong traces of his temper underneath his new shaman-like persona. This is so like us. We have been forgiven and don’t have to be who we were, yet so quickly we go back to the things we used to do. We watch and we say “Why?” just like we do when reading through the history of Israel in the Old Testament, because we don’t realize it is also our story.

There is also a sense of destiny, of purpose to who survived the crash. Locke says plainly that he believes this, and again attributes it to the Island. But beyond that, we have seen glimpses of how each of the character’s lives and back stories connect and cross over. They are interwoven, without them even knowing it, like our lives are. “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!” (Rom. 11:33)

I could go on, really. Like I said, it’s what I do. When I love something, I like to figure out why. When it’s a good story, I like to look for glimpses of the Real Story in it. Again, you can thank Eldredge for that. But that’s another story for another time. For now, go in anticipation of next week’s episode of LOST. Y

"Christian" Fiction

I am an aspiring author. That’s what it says in my profile to the right. Basically it means that I really really like to write (hence, the blog that I pound away on for a very small audience) and that I hope one day to be published and recognized as an author. As opposed to a girl who works for a dentist and at a coffee shop and writes in her spare time.

I have actually written a book; I hope to be self-publishing it in the next couple of months. You can read a little more about it on my humble web page, listed under my links to the right. I’m not going to synopize it right here. But if “Found Phoebe” does get taken on by Red Lead Press, you can be assured that I will also add a link to where you can order it online.

A lot of people have asked me, “Is this a Christian book?” The answer is: yes and no. First of all, no, it is not an explicitly Christian book. By this I mean that Phoebe does not go to church, have a conversion experience, nor is there any mention of God. But at the same time, yes, it is a Christian book because I am a Christian, and I am the author. My worldviews are inherent in my writing, just as “The Lord of the Rings” was not an explicitly Christian book, either, yet is loved by many Christians because of the deep theological themes found there. I am not comparing myself to J.R.R. Tolkien; I am just using his work as an illustration. Although my book is not exactly an allegory, there are parallels and Christian themes in the story; furthermore, my book does not endorse any unscriptural activities.

But as a Christian Author, and even just as a Christian Philosopher in college, I have wrestled with this question: what makes something “Christian Art”? I actually took a whole class about it my senior year, thank you, Dr. Wilson.

I think as Christians, we have a tendency to separate ourselves so much from the mainstream culture that we have created our own little bubble of a sub-culture. There was a time in my life when I thought this was good, but I don’t any more. Part of the problem is that the mainstream market has become so liberal that there isn’t a lot of market for Christian religious art. To compensate, we created publishing houses and media companies that would produce Christian art. But to whom? Not to the world, who needs it the most. But to us, so that we could be surrounded only by what is good and theologically sound.

Yes, I know the verse in Philippians where Paul tells us what things we should think on. And I know we are called to be set apart, to live in the world , but not be of it, and certainly not to love the world or anything in it.

But if Christian musicians are just singing about God’s love to Christians, and Christian authors are just writing books about living life as a Christian and selling it only in Christian bookstores, how are we changing the world?

I am not ashamed that my book does not have the plan of salvation in it. I think God uses all things to draw men to him. I think he uses people who don’t even know Him to spread truth, without them even knowing it. I think His truth can be found in very unexpected places, because it is His world, and He is sovereign, and He has put truth in our hearts. I think you can find elements of the gospel everywhere: in movies like Braveheart and Star Wars, in shows like LOST and ALIAS, and in books like Susan Cooper’s “The Dark is Rising Sequence” and yes, dangit, even in the Harry Potter books.

I still haven’t finished “Heaven is Not My Home,” but I do agree with Dr. Paul Marshall that it is our responsibility as Christians to redeem the world, and to bring to light those truths we find. “Found Phoebe” is about fairies and fairy tales. Why? Because fairy tales (as John Eldredge and even C.S. Lewis would say) present a deep view of reality. They show us what is really going on. As does all effective art, Christian or not. 

Grey Day

Today started off kinda crappy—y’know, the usual: I overslept and had to hustle to work, skipping breakfast in the process. But this was extra bad because I was late for my first day of training at the coffee shop. AND on the way there my CD player started freaking out (it’s still not working) which was a major bummer. Part of what makes driving bearable for me is the opportunity to play my favorite music as loud a I want and sing at the top of my lungs just because I can.

And it’s raining here, and starting to get a little chilly. I actually like when it turns to fall, but the greyness I could do without. Still, it’s been a nice summer so I can’t complain too much. About that.

On the way home I turned the wrong way (yes, I am unbelievably bad with directions and every time I think I’m getting better I go and do something stupid like that) and wasted a good ten minutes at least before I realized it. I got home hungry and tired and slightly cranky still about my CD player. The coffee shop was fine. I didn’t make too many mistakes on the register (I don’t think) but I still have to tackle learning all the different drinks. Coffee people have their own lingo. I feel like I’m learning a new language: mocha, cappuccino, latte, espresso…wait, am I learning Italian?

But when I got home, there were two snuggly kittens waiting for me. I had some lunch, watched some TV (TLC and Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends) and took a nap with a grey ball of purring fluff also napping in my lap. It was just what I needed. I also logged on to the ‘net (obviously) and was notified that there is a brief clip from the season premier of season 2 of LOST. I saw it and OMG. I screamed. (I have a tendency to overreact when it comes to LOST. I am just a trifle obsessed.) Then I worried that I may have alarmed our new neighbors (we're in a townhouse) and they would think I was being murdered or something. But since no policemen came, I guess I'm in the clear. If you want to alarm your own friends, family and neighbors, it’s at the http://www.oceanicflight815.com site, under the explore section, after you click on a bunch of little dots to explore the “hatch” area. If you’re interested. And if you’re not, you should be. Shame on you.

So my day may be grey, but at least it’s ending well. Maybe I’ve got to just stop being such a drama queen and realize that those moments happen. Although, I must admit, being dramatic certainly has its advantages. At the very least it makes life more interesting.

Singleness

This morning I went to church with my parents. Usually I go on Saturday nights, to Community Worship at Memorial Park. But my dad recently got a job at North park Church, and they wanted to introduce him to the congregation. And he wanted the family to be there. No problem. My brother Kyle and I showed up (thankfully) right on time and took a seat. I was looking kinda cute—at least, I was wearing a blouse, skirt and heels, which is a bit of a stretch for a jeans-and-tee girl like me.

So they go through the announcements and a testimony and a couple of songs and finally ask my parents to go to the front. My dad says he was nervous, but it didn’t show. He was cracking jokes and keeping everyone’s attention. And then he decided to introduce us, his “adult children.” Kyle and I politely stood to say hi to everyone. And then he said it: “And they’re both single.” I sat down immediately. The congregation erupted into laughter.

It’s not that I minded or that I was even mad; it’s more of the label that bothers me. “Single.” Alone. Unpaired. Yeah, okay, so I’m single. Really single.

And if you know me, or if you have read my profile, you know that I’m twenty-six. Twenty-six and single. Is that as depressing as it sounds? I have other friends from college in the same boat. Even a couple that are still living at home, like me. (If you read my earlier posts about jobs it should be abundantly clear that I do not make enough to afford rent and other utilities.)

Most of the time I don’t mind being single. I’ve lived with it for a long time. I like my independence. But I happen to be an incurable romantic. If you look at my favorite movies list, you’ll see a few chick flicks in there. I have more. I am a SAP. When I watch movie and TV shows, I hope that the main characters fall in love and find happiness by then end. I’m a “shipper:” I root for certain couples to get and/or stay together. (Sidebar: some of my favorites include: Sydney and Vaughn from Alias; Bright and Hannah from Everwood; Sun and Jin from Lost; Harry and Ginny, and Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter; and Han and Leia from Star Wars.)

The Point: My Independence and my Hopeless Romantic-ness are quite often at odd with each other. Yes, I’d like to find someone and settle down. Yes, I’d like to get married and have a few kids someday. But I’m afraid I have too many unrealistic expectations planted in my head by my favorite sappy movies. I’m also afraid that some of the standards and things I’m looking for in a guy just aren’t ever going to come together. Deep down I think I do believe that there is a guy out there suited for me just as I am for him, whether or not he happens to be a Scottish, guitar-playing, intellectual, funny, adventurous Christian man. But some days it just seems like I’ll be stuck being labeled “single” forever. It wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen to me, but it’s not what I’m hoping for.

But don’t you dare recommend E-harmony to me.