I love this time of year. Honestly, I do. Spring is my favorite season. I love seeing everything come alive again.
Right now, at my desk, I have a vase full of daisies and daffodils. I bought them for myself on Monday...because I was completely stressed out.
In the midst of this wonderful time of regrowth and renewal, we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus (commonly called Easter). It's such a beautiful holiday, so profound and soul-stirring.
And because I have to plan and participate in the worship services this week, I haven't given it hardly a thought.
Stress!
I love being involved with worship. I truly do. But some of the more Administrative (as opposed to Creative) duties are just draining. Stress!
On Sunday, I admitted my stress to my 20somethings group, as I stood in front of them, leading worship, just me and my guitar. I didn't really want to admit it. I didn't really particularly want to say anything to them, because I didn't want to draw anymore attention to myself. Yet I found myself sharing about my struggles and stresses, because I believe that in order for worship--any worship, not just the singing kind--to be authentic, it had to be honest.
You know what happened? My group prayed for me. (I shouldn't call them "my" group. I just meant the group that I am part of.) Blessing!
The last song we sang was "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord," in which we sing that no matter what we're going through, we will praise God. It's a profound thought, one I have already admitted I struggle with.
So, I wonder: was the stress in my life a blessing in itself? Or was the response of the Body of Christ the blessing?
Afterward, I went out with a friend of mine; this very friendship is what I called "a God thing," because He brought it about so unexpectedly and suddenly. It was so nice just to have some quality girl time. Talking about relationships, eternity, struggles....and when I think of just over a year ago, when I hardly had anyone--outside of my family, and here in Pgh--to even begin to discuss such things with, I am amazed. Blessing!
BUT were the years of loneliness in themselves a blessing? Or was it a blessing to see God's hand bringing people back into my life?
I don't pretend to know the correlation between Stress and Blessings. Certainly it is Biblical to look at the struggles in our lives as something of value, because of what they will produce in us. But we don't want stress in our lives. We don't want struggles and hardships. I know I don't! And yet...and yet. If I could do it over again, would I want the easier road? If nothing else, dark times give us the opportunity to see God at work in our lives more clearly.
I don't have the answers. But it is something on my heart, something that keeps coming back. What do YOU think?
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